addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
