Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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