So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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