just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
whose ass print is on the piano?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
