I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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