I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
