i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
