sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ketchup is God's man juice
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
