So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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