If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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