Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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