So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
