please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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