Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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