I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
