brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
