Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
