just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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