Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Can I color on your dick again?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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