you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
