I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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