You can't motorboat a personality
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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