Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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