my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
