im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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