I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
no you cant smoke seaweed
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
