All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize