Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well you can't waste a boner
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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