just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
