He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize