we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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