apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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