Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
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Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence