omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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