id be glad to
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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