i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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