Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
