theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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