I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
