So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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