he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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