You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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