Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
