We're like a lot better than the average bears
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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