As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
