So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
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i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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