I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
