would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
