Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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