This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
