saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
