Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
wow bdsm is so cute
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
