What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
