mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
