my mouth tastes like poor choices
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
