i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
