Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
