We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
