Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Randomize
