12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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