So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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