Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
